1. Read blogs. There are loads of great blogs about spanking, most of them written by women. My Bottom Smarts has lots of information for newcomers and links to other blogs that are worth exploring. You can read about other people’s experiences, ask questions, get ideas and reassurance. I know several people who first confided their spanking fantasies anonymously on some spanking blog or other – and ended up meeting play partners and friends for life. Besides, sending your lover a link to a blog post can be an easy way of telling them what you like…
2. Watch porn. There’s a lot out there, but again, blogs can be a good place to start. If you’re concerned about the consent aspect of spanking videos, a lot of performers have blogs which might help reassure you. SpankingTube is free, and includes sample clips from a lot of sites, as well as amateur clips produced by couples at home.
3. Show your lover some erotic writing, pictures or video you like, and see what they think. Ask them about their fantasies – you might find ideas that work for both of you.
4. If your partner isn’t sure at first, try not to pressure them by mentioning it repeatedly. However, a flirty text or email telling them what you want them to do to you never goes amiss. Emphasise how turned on it would make you. Few people can resist the desire to indulge their lover – and your enjoyment might be contagious!